Eric The Good

There are just certain things we know for sure.  Jessica Alba is the most beautiful woman in the world.  Cream style corn is better than regular corn.  Roger Ebert should never wear a Speedo.  Skinheads and soccer moms don’t mix.  Killing a person with post hole diggers is harder than it sounds.  Again, these are all obvious, well known facts.

We also know that Eric Berry is the greatest man walking the face of the Earth right now.  I’ve already covered his exploits on the football field.  He is regarded as the best defensive player in college football.  Some (the smart ones) consider him the best college player period.  Surprisingly it is Tulane Punter Ross Thevenot who gets some votes and not Timothy Tebow.

What about Eric Berry the person?  He is better than Eric Berry the player, believe it or not.  Here are some of his many accomplishments:

– Eric ended the Cold War by telling Russia, “Back off…or else”.

– He defeated both Downtown Julie Brown and the redheaded Julie Brown.  They were forced to leave Earth and return to the 1980s.  The world rejoiced.

– Eric brought peace to the Middle East.  He started with Presbyterian and Methodist tourists.  Next up he’ll deal with the Israelis and Palestinians.  No reason to rush things.

– He got Metallica to team up with Rick Rubin and get back to playing good music.

– Eric saved Timmy, the boy who was trapped in the well.

– He got Klondike to put a thicker chocolate shell on their ice cream bars.

– Eric does volunteer work with veterans of the Falklands War.

– He hasn’t yet cured cancer, but scurvy, measles, and polio are no longer running rampant in most countries.

I think you get the point.  Eric is a great man who does great things.  I think we all owe him a big thank you.

Thanks, Mr. Berry.

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